Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Parings/Characters: Steve/Danno, Chin, Kono, Jenna, Rachel and Grace is mentioned.
Rating: R for language
Word Count: 1,350
Disclaimer: I in no way own any part of Hawaii Five-0
Warnings/Spoilers: Takes place after the season one finale
Summary: Steve is broken
Author's Note: I was very...hmm...very upset with the finale to say the least and I tried to fix it, I tried my best to come up with something that could make it all better but I found most of the summer it was just easier to ignore the last two episodes and pretend they never happened. Unfortunately they happened and one night I found myself so angry with my real life I could explode. So I channeled that anger and wrote this while listening to the song "You Can't Break a Broken Heart" by Kate Voegele. It seemed to fit and after going over this fic I was inspired to make an angry, broken Steve fanmix...which I have a feeling will turn into a ficmix before I'm finished with it! LOL So, I hope you enjoy!
"What do you mean he won't see me?"
"I'm sorry Detective Williams but the inmate refuses to see you. Maybe if you call next time before you come in you can save yourself a trip or he may have changed his mind in a week or so but for today I cannot let you in to see him."
"I have to question him for the case."
"I know you aren't on the case. I know that Chin Ho Kelly has been questioning McGarrett and he is the only one allowed to question him." The guard sighed. "I am sorry Danny but he just won't see you yet and I have no idea why."
"Yeah, thanks." Danny turned and left the prison as fast as he could. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry.
H50 ~ H50 ~ H50 ~ H50 ~ H50
"I told him you didn't want to see him McGarrett. You ever gonna tell anyone why or are you gonna continue being the strong, silent, stubborn jackass?"
Steve smiled his best jackass smile at the guard and grunted before walking to his bunk. He slowly sat down and folded his hands in h is lap knowing that would be answer enough for the guard. It only took another twenty seconds or so for the other man to leave and as Steve heard the door slam shut he sighed and held his head in his hands.
He honestly wanted nothing more than to see Danny, to see his face and know that he was okay out there alone. However, after the day before when Chin had been questioning him and let slip about Rachel taking Grace back home to Jersey, Steve didn't want to talk to anyone. He then fell apart completely when he pressured Chin into telling him exactly why Rachel left so soon. In that explanation Steve found out what Danny was planning on doing when he was arrested and how Danny's plans changed as well as learning the tidbit of information that Rachel and Danny were expecting another child.
Sitting alone in his cell Steve wished he had never stayed in Hawaii. Sure, he would have missed out on getting to know Chin and Kono but the pain in his gut, in his heart over Danny was more than he ever wanted to feel. He was fine alone. He was fine with the wall around his heart and his nights with Cat because she didn't want anything more. She wanted a career and was perfectly happy with their arrangement over the years.
Then he met Danny. And he fell in love with Danny. Of course it wasn't love at first; he couldn't exactly stand him in fact because good Lord the man annoyed the piss out of him. Danny drove Steve crazy with the incessant talking, always finding it necessary to argue with Steve, and the moments where Danny would throw rules in his face and expect him to follow them. It was too much for Steve McGarrett and he should have run. He should have run as far as he could before he met Grace. He should have run before he saw how Danny was as a father and how much he admired him for everything he did for his daughter.
Steve wanted, needed, to throw something but there was the small matter of not having a damn thing in the cell to throw. That and the fact that if he removed his shoes one more time to throw them at the walls they were taking them away from him. He wanted to punch something but he found out the night before how much it can hurt when one punches a concrete block out of anger. Steve wanted to cry but knew if he cried it would be even worse in prison than it already was and he wouldn't let Danny do that to him. He wouldn't let him break him. He would shut Danny out and find a way to get his heart back...even if it slowly killed him.
H50 ~ H50 ~ H50 ~ H50 ~ H50
"Steve is there anything else you can remember because if we're getting you out of this we need something more than you're giving us. Do you know for sure it was Wo Fat that hit you with the stun gun? Was he the one that shot the Governor? Don't give me that look Steve; I know you didn't kill her. I know you were trying to find out the truth about your parents and the extent of her involvement so it would make no sense for you to kill her with no proof whatsoever of what she may or may not have done." Chin stood and began pacing the room. "You know they're watching us right? I finally convinced them to let us have a room where they wouldn't record or listen in on our conversations but I don't know how long that might last Steve."
"How did you manage that? You didn't tell them you were helping me right?"
He shook his head. "No, of course not. I told them that with our history you might be more inclined to open up if you are convinced we're not being watched and that our conversations are private. Might have mentioned you are a SEAL and would know what they were up to and wouldn't stand for it, after all you are charged with murdering the governor whom you were working for and were so close to."
"Yeah, thanks for scaring them. Not sure it has done much good at all." Steve hadn't moved more than an inch since the moment he sat down at the table. He tried to show as little feeling as possible because he sure as hell didn't want Chin asking him any personal questions about how he might be doing or heaven forbid ask him why he won't see Danny to let him explain.
Steve's face betrayed him and Chin was able to read his eyes. He walked back to the table and sat across from the man he still thought of as his boss. "You know he won't give up right?"
"Who? Come on McGarrett. You know Danny is going to keep coming here and trying his damnedest to see you so he can talk to you about what is happening with him. You have to hear him out." Chin folded his arms across his chest.
"No." He stated. "No, I do not have to hear him out. He didn't open up to me about anything so I have no idea why I should take the time and effort to listen to him or let him explain anything to me." Steve remained firm.
"What happened? I know there was something between the two of you even if you were both too stupid and blind to admit it. If you remember I was there when he did the whole air heart thing. I saw his lips. I have been a cop how long Steve? Yeah, you know how long and you know I'm a good cop so what happened?"
"Nothing? That's it? Come on brah, maybe I can tell Danny something."
"No. Do not say a word to him, you got it?" Steve leaned forward and gave Chin a look that told him he'd better listen.
"You need to talk to someone Steve. They're letting Jenna in tomorrow; maybe a fresh look on this will help you. I'm done for now Steve but I'll be back after you speak to Jenna."
"Yeah, can't wait."
"Yeah. See ya McGarrett." Chin stood and walked to the door, raising his hand to knock.
Steve stopped Chin with his voice. "Hey."
Chin turned and replied, "yeah?"
"I'm sorry. I just. I dunno. I can't today is all."
"Okay Steve. I'll see you tomorrow." Chin pounded on the door and as they opened it he played the hard cop Chin Ho Kelly that now hated Steve McGarrett even if it might be a million miles from the truth.
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